As the great Gallic philosopher and author Albert Camus said in his celebrated essay The Rabid Generation, “I love animals, especially canines. And especially canine dogs.� Of course, this comes out much better when said in Albert’s native French while waving a Gauloise, wearing an onion necklace and reeking of garlic. The Absurd-obsessed Camus also went on to write about the meaninglessness of
existence in an infinite universe but I am saving this for my Christmas blog. I always save nihilism for the New Year.
Forgive one, for one is paraphrasing but of course you will get one’s point. Yes folks, the last few weeks in Liverpool’s good old Crown Court building (established 1984) have been Dog Week(s). If the animal crackers passed you by, legal fans, worry not and let one explain.
Think of play day at the end of term, only with animals. We were all allowed to bring a pet in so long as it (a) had four legs and a tail and (b) was a dog.
The policemen naturally break the no animals rule and bring dogs in with them whenever they feel like it. They can - after all, who is going to arrest them?
In between games on my Nintendo and important trials, I ended up stroking a nice police dog called Woofley (not his real name). He is nine years old and about to retire (to Southport, presumably) and I was talking to his handler PC Barney McGrew (that is his real name) about why the dogs were in court at the he gave me some guff about it being for a high-security trial and nothing to do with its being Dog Week(s).
Anyway, that was probably the Official Secrets Act gagging him, but it made me recall the trial of a big Manchester drugs baron which was held in Liverpool. Security was tighter than ever and sniffer dogs came in to do their work every day. One of them put the ‘poo’ in pooch by leaving a rather nasty present on the floor of the court. It, and the dog, had to be removed before the judge came in, but when His Honour returned he saw the funny side (and its calling card) and we all howled when he said he might consider sending the naughty mutt down for contempt of court.
The canny canine would have probably ended up being Top Dog on D-Wing.